Art Markman Ph.D.
Ulterior Motives
Happiness, Well-Being, and Other People
Spending time with friends is often meditation for the mind.
Posted Apr 29, 2021
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Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
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This post was written by Ellen Luborsky, Ph.D.
Eating is one of the most self-referential and challenging topics in health. So it's understandable that at this time, I'm writing about it. But writing about it is an unfortunate route to go when you have such profound and important problems.
For you may be tired of thinking about your favorite pasttime. Maybe you’re tired of watching the news about your favorite doctor. Maybe you’re tired of your job. Maybe you’re feeling depressed or stopped you in your tracks. Whatever the specific concerns that you have, these are usually concerns that arise when you are trying to maximize your efficiency or performance. You may just have a hunch that you’re not quite up to the task.
You may find yourself telling yourself, “I’m not as good as the people that are supposed to be better than me.” Or “I don’t deserve the kind of life I keep dreaming about.” Or “I always saw that my idealized photo when I came looking at it.”
Of course, in the vast array of possible life circumstances, there’s always the option of putting your mind to advantage. You may convince yourself that you deserve to be happy, or you may convince yourself that you deserve to find a better job or acquire a more desirable item. Whether you’re making an aspiration to become better or a drive to pursue an attainment, it’s unhelpful to dwell on the unhelpful thoughts that are engendered as a result of your striving.
The unfortunate result is that you detour into self-help, but you’re still aiding in your unproductive or destructive efforts. You may end up consuming more sugary beverages than you’d naturally need and drinking more coffee than you’d want, two unhealthy things that are linked to a ravenous, term, hungry, and short-term mentality.
There are two basic causal models of personality—the Adam and the Walrus. In the model, personalities are ordered by causal factors (atomic structure, age, intelligence, power, or luck) and then trending‐or‐trending is established.[1] personality is then generated based on everyday experience and instinct, and these random factors become habits that are hard to break, causing dysfunctional or narcissistic behaviors.
The theory of the passive/aggressive personality identifies a number of overlaps with the types of personality associated with inadequacy:
Pride and resentment are associated with the subtype of “negative rage” (or what some call a “rude vengeance”);
Those with a healthy dose of pride and ability to act have a greater chance of developing a difficult reaction when encountering
If you’re short on energy and ability to rest, try to access more energy through activities that showcase your adaptive functioning; re-balance will occur based on the traits you display.[2]
The takeaway
Suzanne F. Belkin, Ph.D., LPC, NCC
Heroes of Prehistory
References
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Passive-Aggressiveness-Prehistoric-Families-Training-Pack/dp/0307137903
[2] https://www.tandfonline.